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STANDING UP TO VERBAL ABUSE


Verbal abuse is like a rock thrown through your window.

Verbal abuse is emotional battering which can be as painful as physical battering, and recovery can take much longer.

Verbal abuse usually happens in private. It leaves invisible scars. There are no bruises, broken bones or black eyes.

Often there are no outside witnesses, which makes it easy to deny.

Generally in a verbally abusive relationship, the abuser denies the abuse.

Verbal abuse is a crazymaking means of dominance and control.

Although some verbally abusive people never physically abuse, physical abuse is always preceded by verbal abuse.

YOU DESERVE

Good will

Enrichment

Joy

Strong, positive connections

Warmth

Honesty

Understanding

Respect

Rapport

Concern for your well being

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TOLERATE BEING.....

The object of cruel jokes
Snapped at or yelled at
Insulted, called names
Ordered around
Totally ignored
Side-tracked
Dominated
Controlled
Manipulated
Attacked
Falsely blamed
Unfairly accused
Scape-goated
Invalidated
Discounted
Undermined
Trivialized
Judged harshly
Unfairly criticized
Threatened
Constantly opposed

SOME WAYS TO RESPOND


I do not appreciate your insulting me and laughing about it.
Stop it! Quit that! Quit yelling!
Do not ever call me that!
Do not give orders to me! I will not be ordered around by you!
I am really tired of this. Please leave.
Stop side-tracking me! Then, repeat the question until you get a straight answer.
Quit trying to dominate and control me! Quit trying to manipulate me! Do not ever talk to me like that!
Quit accusing me and blaming me!
Stop taking your problems out on me!
Take time out: I do not want to talk about it now. I will get back to you later when we have calmed down.
I see. So that is what you believe. So you say.
I do not believe you.
Stop it! Hold it! Cut it out! Stop talking to me that way! Do not undermine me!
Mind your own business! Nonsense! Keep your comments to yourself!
I do not like your attitude. I do not like your tone of voice. I do not want to hear it!
I have had enough of your crazy-making behavior. Please leave.
Make your comments sharp and abrupt. If the abuse does not stop right away, leave. Get away quickly, especially if there is the threat of physical violence.

RETURN TO:
DAWWWN Homepage Deaf Abused Woman Warrior's Web Network
DAWWWN Introduction What is DAWWWN?
Deb's Story Page **may be triggering** My Survivor Story
DAWWWN Poetry Page Poetry From The Heart
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DAWWWN - Humor PTSD Jokes